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Memories Make Memoirs

November 14, 2018 by Jim Potter 12 Comments

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(To listen to the audio of this blog post, use the purple play button.)


 

·  Susan Painter  ·

The older you get—hopefully—the more memories you’ll have to write about.

Recently, I’ve run into a number of former students from my days as a School Resource Officer when I was a sergeant with the Reno County Sheriff’s Office. Since I visited the schools for so many years, like full-time teachers, I continue to refer to these young people, now adults, as “my” students.

One student reminded me that he had a really tough time in school due to being bullied. He appreciated me standing up for him.

Another former student told me that his parents split up due to substance abuse issues. He remembered me encouraging his class to avoid the misuse of drugs and senseless violence.

Then yesterday, I was helped at a store by Ben, an employee. He caught me up on his life, including that he has six children. It took me a second to comprehend how a student of mine could already have six children. Then I did the math.

Finally, I spoke with Pretty Prairie School Superintendent Randy Hendrickson about the annual Youth Writing Contest sponsored by the Kansas Authors Club. During our conversation, my memories of working in Pretty Prairie’s fourth-grade classrooms surfaced.

Russ Gaeddert and Susan Painter were the two teachers I collaborated with on teaching conflict resolution in their respective classrooms. We had a great time of partnering up with the students on a weekly basis for nearly a semester.

Sadly, many years ago, Susan Painter died while in the prime of her life. Back then, her husband, Michael, invited me to be one of several people to praise Susan by speaking at her funeral service.

I share with you today my comments, my eulogy of Susan. This is a personal essay. It’s a memoir.

Susan Painter and I were friends. We had a common love of teaching children. We were curriculum partners for a few years in the fourth grade classroom where we taught a course about conflict resolution and character education. We had the perfect class of students to work with because examples of conflicts were never far away, whether they occurred on the playground, hallway, or at home. We examined the conflict escalator, searched for win-win situations, and practiced practical steps to solving problems.

Fourth grade students circling up for Conflict Resolution class.

Today, I want to review a portion of that class which included character education, or the “8 Keys of Excellence.” (http://www.8keys.org) I’m honored to apply the 8 Keys to Susan, the Susan I once knew.

Susan lived with INTEGRITY. She was the real thing—not pretentious but authentic, always sincere. Her values and behavior were aligned. And because she was clear about her values, it made her teaching both easy and at the same time, difficult. The standards she expected were straightforward, yet when students didn’t practice what was preached, she wondered, “Why didn’t they get it?” But Susan would always give them another opportunity to be successful . . . once they had an appropriate consequence for their inappropriate behavior. Like I said, she was a professional yet instinctive teacher, and teachers don’t miss teachable moments.

Susan acknowledged that FAILURE LEADS TO SUCCESS. In the classroom we talked about the famous inventor, Thomas Edison, who understood that every time he “failed” to find a filament for the incandescent light bulb, he was actually closer to discovering the illuminating solution. Susan also looked at her teaching as a process of finding a better approach to every challenge. We were on the lookout together, finding ways for our developing youngsters to shine.

Russ Gaeddert, Jim Potter, and Susan Painter

SPEAK WITH GOOD PURPOSE was a skill that defined Susan. She was responsible for honest and direct communication. While others might beat around the bush, Susan cut to the chase. In fact, though I’d been a police officer for twenty years, Susan taught me a thing or two about being assertive and standing up for my rights while respecting the rights of others.

Susan, despite a world where cancer had repeatedly touched her life, lived in the present. “THIS IS IT!” she might have proclaimed, teaching me that every day and every interaction is precious. Today we are told to “be here now.” Susan understood and practiced that principle years ago.

Susan followed her vision. She had COMMITMENT. This key to excellence was similar to her key of INTEGRITY, where she stayed the course, doing whatever was necessary to get the job done.

OWNERSHIP is a key that sometimes seems in short supply today, but Susan clearly understood the concept of being accountable and responsible. I could always rely on her. She was responsive to the needs of her students, peers, and family. One week when I had to miss a class, she and her students used the time to make a gift for me. They created a book titled Sam and Sally, illustrating the steps of conflict resolution. Susan was an example of going above and beyond the call of duty—never because it was expected—always because it was part of her generous nature.

Before I worked with Susan as a partner, I wasn’t too sure about her ability to be FLEXIBLE. She was the teacher who wanted things done her way. Then I had the honor of working with her and seeing her personal ability to go with the flow. And anyway, who was I to judge her? I could get stressed out about a scheduling change while she was living a life with or without cancer. While I wanted things to accommodate my schedule, she was in the moment, celebrating each day alive.

Susan, in between her illness, kept her BALANCE. Her mind, body, and spirit were in alignment. I will remember her sharp intellect, wit, welcome smile, rolling eyes, and laugh. And when I recall her spirit, I’ll always think of her as the strong one in our educational dance around the classroom. Susan was a role model for the students and certainly for me. She was a loving friend who welcomed me as an equal. She was the one with the can-do-anything spirit who I admired. Now, she is free from her mind and body. Now, she is everywhere, in everything, in everyone.

The Susan in me says to the Susan in you, celebrate life to the fullest. Live it with INTEGRITY, remember that FAILURE LEADS TO SUCCESS, to SPEAK WITH GOOD PURPOSE, live in the now—THIS IS IT! Follow your vision, affirm your COMMITMENT, take OWNERSHIP, stay FLEXIBLE, and keep your BALANCE.

Until next time, happy writing and reading!

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Comments

  1. Nancy Julien Kopp says

    Very, very nice, Jim. I’m sure Susan’s family treasured your words at her funeral service and long after.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Nancy, thank you. Anytime you enjoy my writing is a great day! Sincerely, Jim

      Reply
  2. Angie Schultz says

    Miss seeing you around the courthouse here! You have a great talent in putting words together. I never knew Susan Painter, but because I read your “memoir” I know her now! Very descriptive and informative, yet personal. Thank you for your sharing.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Angie, thanks for your comments. You may know of my novel, Taking Back the Bullet. It’s set in Prairie Grove, KS. One of the main characters is Deputy Tom Jennings. He’s not unlike me except that he’s obese. Recently he’s reappeared in my imagination and in my writing.

      Reply
  3. Philip McDaniels says

    Wow Jim, what a wonderful and moving way to start my day. Well done.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Phil, thank you so much!

      Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    What a loving, touching, honest, and respectful remembrance of a friend. Despite her passing, she was certainly blessed by your friendship.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      Anonymous, thank you.

      Reply
  5. H.B. Berlow says

    What a loving, touching, honest, and respectful remembrance of a friend. Despite her passing, she was certainly blessed by your friendship.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      H.B., thanks for your encouragement!

      Reply
  6. Marilyn says

    Susan was clearly an extraordinary person. She became quite vivid to this reader!

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Marilyn, thanks for recognizing Susan’s importance to me! Jim

      Reply

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Karleen Wilson-Moon

Terrific story relevant to today’s social issues . . . well written . . . likable characters . . . insightful perspective from an insider in law enforcement.

Larry Kruckman, anthropologist

Jim Potter displays ethnographic skills in Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, creating vivid scenes and fascinating characters. The Greeks had a word for subcultures and people’s behavior: ‘ethos,’ or ‘ways of being.’ In colorful, sometimes marvelous detail, this novel captures various people and settings . . . the ethos of rural Kansas: a… Read more “Larry Kruckman, anthropologist”

Steve Becker

I’m impressed. It was an excellent read. . . . I hope you continue with more projects in the future.

Morgan Penner

Taking Back the Bullet is a novel that provides the reader with a window into the world of law enforcement. As the novel unfolds, the reader is able to see how split-second decisions alter the lives of the main characters in the story. Taking Back the Bullet also explores how humanity is impacted by mental… Read more “Morgan Penner”

Sean McArdle, Winchester, England

Retired police officer Potter’s novel centers on very disparate characters and through the tried and tested means of gradually introducing each one, builds a sense of anticipation about what is going to happen to them. This often used methodology is not easy to do well but is superbly handled by Potter who knows how to… Read more “Sean McArdle, Winchester, England”

Jane Holzrichter

I finished it last night around midnight. What a great piece of work. It kept me intrigued all the way to the end.

Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist

Jim Potter has done it again! After his book, Cop in the Classroom: Lessons I’ve Learned, Tales I’ve Told, Jim has written another great work. In Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, Jim Potter takes us on an insightful journey into the lives and relationships of numerous characters. Jim is such a talented storyteller… Read more “Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist”

Diana Dester

Good story line, building the characters along the way. Great job!

Wynona Winn, PhD, retired school superintendent

Three main characters walk different paths but with the same destination – each coping with his or her self-discovery, self-identity, and self-realization. Much like their earlier counterparts – Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield – their journeys are often joyous, often tedious and often tragic.

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. . . I was impressed with the Native American information as well as the depth of character development . . . .

John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement

I enjoyed your book. When I am looking for a new read, I always read the first page, last page and choose a random page somewhere in the middle before I decide to buy it. You had me on all three pages. I also like reading a book where you can relate to the characters… Read more “John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement”

Sheryl Remar

I enjoyed the different stories of this book because Tom, James, and Suanna, the three main characters, represent in their own way the different struggles with themselves and society’s idea of what is normal.

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As a former law enforcement officer, I found the story very relatable as it details the life of a law enforcement officer and the struggles some face throughout their careers. . . Taking Back the Bullet is a journey of understanding, respect, and forgiveness . . .

Dennis Perrin, educator

Masterful storytelling, exquisite character development, so real as to HURT and HOPE, a real page turner. Begs for stage, screenwriters, and visual episodic development a.k.a. TV series . . . Thanks Jim Potter for telling it like it is AND providing us visions of how it could be. Well done!

Rebecca from Proud Police Wife

Taking Back the Bullet is an emotional, yet captivating novel. Jim Potter does a superb job of intertwining each character and putting their individual identities on display. All law enforcement storylines are a true reflection of Potter’s years as a police officer because they are realistic and relatable. This is a book I highly recommend.

Denise Low, author of Jackalope (Red Mountain Press)

Jim Potter is a cop, retired, but he brings deep understanding of this job to his novel Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery. This layered novel has literary dimensions as characters explore crisis situations. Congratulations to this fine writer for his debut novel.

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