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Losing Your Home: Missing Memories

January 17, 2018 by Jim Potter 4 Comments

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(To listen to the audio of this blog post, use the purple play button.)


 

·  Missing Memories  ·

I’ve been involved in many evictions, but I can only imagine what it must be like for someone to lose their home.

I’ve been part of the process. When I was a civil process server, I delivered the legal papers that led to people being kicked out of their residence, into the streets. I looked people in the eye and handed them orders to be out of their apartment, their trailer, or their house.

I tried to be as helpful as possible. I answered their questions, doing my best but limited from giving legal advice, often replying that I didn’t know. I encouraged them to contact their landlord, an attorney, or legal aide, knowing that money—not talking—was the real answer.

Basically, I was the person who assured them that their nightmare was indeed real.

“How can you do this job?” friends would ask. I answered, rationalizing that someone had to do it. Whether I did it or not, it would be done, so why not me? I saw myself as helpful in that I respectively informed people of what was going on and assertively explained to them their limited choices.

Before I ever thought about being a civil process server for the sheriff’s office, I got to know a family living in poverty. I knew them because I was a community volunteer helping children.

As one Christmas approached I was shopping for a gift for Amber, the six year-old girl in the family. I spent a lot of time finding her the perfect present. Eventually, I found a lovable stuffed animal that was soft and adorable. I pictured Amber, pleased with her new best friend.

About a week after Christmas that year, I learned that Amber and her family had been evicted from their trailer. They had not paid their rent or electric bill. I immediately thought of Amber and her stuffed animal.

The family had lost access to a majority of their possessions. Most remained behind, locked in the former residence. I was told that the landlord wouldn’t allow them to retrieve their belongings until they paid their back rent.

They never did.

When I drove by that locked, vacant trailer, I imagined Amber’s stuffed animal being part of the property she would never see again. It would become another forgotten toy, a faded memory.

I considered what Amber’s life must have been like. I asked myself questions.

  • “How does being evicted impact someone, especially when they’re a child?”
  • “What does that do to a person’s psyche—their mind, personality, and soul?”
  • “How can parents be more responsible so that they can help prevent this trauma?” (Note: I realize that individuals have no control over so many factors: market conditions with stagnant wages and increased costs, income inequality, death, disease, disability, and divorce.)
  • “What if our society made affordable housing more accessible?”

Today, every day, families continue to be evicted from their homes. Children carry the emotional scars of having their lives uprooted.

I still ask myself questions such as: “What does it do to a person’s self-esteem, confidence, trust, hope, and mental health?”

In our home, we have photo albums that help trigger our memories. For people who have lost their mementos, they’ve also lost reminders of who they once were. Part of their personal history has been erased.

I’ve never been evicted, but I can only imagine how it affects children.

  • If you lived in poverty, would you be focused on your homework?
  • Would you be studying for an upcoming test at school?
  • Would you be your best?

I know that many kids weather a challenging childhood, seemingly unscarred. Their resiliency allows them the opportunity to not only survive, but the drive to be successful.

But back to you. If you came home from school and found a notice of eviction taped to your front door, what would you do?

If you had a stuffed animal, would you take it with you?

Until next time, happy writing and reading!

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Comments

  1. Miriam Iwashige says

    Last night over supper Hiromi and I were talking about the problem of adequate and affordable housing and lamenting how this affects some of the diligent and responsible people we know. We remembered how we’ve always been provided for somehow, but wondered whether similar income with today’s housing costs would have reached around. Your post focuses on the most heart-wrenching aspects of this–a small part of the poverty problem.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Miriam, thanks for your comment. Most “experts” advise that you should spend no more than 30% of your income on housing. However, rent prices continue to increase faster than wages. It’s estimated that in the US over 11 million renters dedicate at least half their income to housing. When they spend so much of their income on housing, what do they need to give up in order to pay the rent? Food? Clothing? Healthcare?

      Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    I know this is real but it breaks my heart.

    Reply
    • Jim Potter says

      Thanks for your comment. Our children deserve safety nets so they don’t get seriously hurt. Also, here’s a book that addresses how people can recognize and overcome their adverse experiences. Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

      Reply

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Karleen Wilson-Moon

Terrific story relevant to today’s social issues . . . well written . . . likable characters . . . insightful perspective from an insider in law enforcement.

Larry Kruckman, anthropologist

Jim Potter displays ethnographic skills in Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, creating vivid scenes and fascinating characters. The Greeks had a word for subcultures and people’s behavior: ‘ethos,’ or ‘ways of being.’ In colorful, sometimes marvelous detail, this novel captures various people and settings . . . the ethos of rural Kansas: a… Read more “Larry Kruckman, anthropologist”

Steve Becker

I’m impressed. It was an excellent read. . . . I hope you continue with more projects in the future.

Morgan Penner

Taking Back the Bullet is a novel that provides the reader with a window into the world of law enforcement. As the novel unfolds, the reader is able to see how split-second decisions alter the lives of the main characters in the story. Taking Back the Bullet also explores how humanity is impacted by mental… Read more “Morgan Penner”

Sean McArdle, Winchester, England

Retired police officer Potter’s novel centers on very disparate characters and through the tried and tested means of gradually introducing each one, builds a sense of anticipation about what is going to happen to them. This often used methodology is not easy to do well but is superbly handled by Potter who knows how to… Read more “Sean McArdle, Winchester, England”

Jane Holzrichter

I finished it last night around midnight. What a great piece of work. It kept me intrigued all the way to the end.

Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist

Jim Potter has done it again! After his book, Cop in the Classroom: Lessons I’ve Learned, Tales I’ve Told, Jim has written another great work. In Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, Jim Potter takes us on an insightful journey into the lives and relationships of numerous characters. Jim is such a talented storyteller… Read more “Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist”

Diana Dester

Good story line, building the characters along the way. Great job!

Wynona Winn, PhD, retired school superintendent

Three main characters walk different paths but with the same destination – each coping with his or her self-discovery, self-identity, and self-realization. Much like their earlier counterparts – Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield – their journeys are often joyous, often tedious and often tragic.

Judy Hawk

. . . I was impressed with the Native American information as well as the depth of character development . . . .

John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement

I enjoyed your book. When I am looking for a new read, I always read the first page, last page and choose a random page somewhere in the middle before I decide to buy it. You had me on all three pages. I also like reading a book where you can relate to the characters… Read more “John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement”

Sheryl Remar

I enjoyed the different stories of this book because Tom, James, and Suanna, the three main characters, represent in their own way the different struggles with themselves and society’s idea of what is normal.

Rebecca Schillaci

As a former law enforcement officer, I found the story very relatable as it details the life of a law enforcement officer and the struggles some face throughout their careers. . . Taking Back the Bullet is a journey of understanding, respect, and forgiveness . . .

Dennis Perrin, educator

Masterful storytelling, exquisite character development, so real as to HURT and HOPE, a real page turner. Begs for stage, screenwriters, and visual episodic development a.k.a. TV series . . . Thanks Jim Potter for telling it like it is AND providing us visions of how it could be. Well done!

Rebecca from Proud Police Wife

Taking Back the Bullet is an emotional, yet captivating novel. Jim Potter does a superb job of intertwining each character and putting their individual identities on display. All law enforcement storylines are a true reflection of Potter’s years as a police officer because they are realistic and relatable. This is a book I highly recommend.

Denise Low, author of Jackalope (Red Mountain Press)

Jim Potter is a cop, retired, but he brings deep understanding of this job to his novel Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery. This layered novel has literary dimensions as characters explore crisis situations. Congratulations to this fine writer for his debut novel.

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