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Character Development: Narcissism

January 3, 2018 by Jim Potter 2 Comments

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(To listen to the audio of this blog post, use the purple play button.)

·  Narcissism  ·

What if you developed a fictional character who was narcissistic?

If you decide to “give” one of your fictional characters narcissism, you don’t need to identify the condition by name to your readers. Instead, show them.

“Like I told you in the e-mail,” I said. “I’m a writer, and I’m interested in what it’s like to live with a narcissist. Thanks again for talking with me.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “I’m not sure how much I can help, but I’m willing to tell you some of my experiences.”

“What was he like?” I asked.

“He was controlling. He thought he was always right, and he played mind games with me to the point where I didn’t know if I was coming or going.”

“How was he controlling? Because there are lots of people who are great at what they do because they take control.”

“I’m not talking about someone who takes control when it’s required of them to do their job. I’m talking about a person who has a need to control others. My husband was domineering and a pathological manipulator; heck, I’d call him a domestic terrorist. He about drove me crazy.”

“In what way? Can you give me an example?”

“When we met I thought I was in love, but I learned that everything was about him. He didn’t care about me as much as he cared about receiving compliments. After a while I was either ignored or criticized, take your pick.”

“Ignored and criticized?”

“Everything he did centered around him. I was only there to agree or to be blamed. If the dish washer broke down, then I hadn’t used it properly. If he wasn’t feeling well, then it must have been the food I’d prepared.”

“Was he always that way?”

“He was so good at showing his best side when we first met. I actually admired his decisiveness. But his judgmental criticism of others was eventually directed at me. I wasn’t the perfect housewife; I needed to lose weight; if I was smarter, I’d have a better job. His verbal abuse never stopped.

“Finally, I told him that if I was such a loser, why had he married me?”

“Did he answer?”

“Of course. It gave him another opportunity to show his superiority. He said he felt sorry for me! He said he figured he could help me!

“That’s when I knew for sure I was going to leave. I just didn’t know how or when.”

“Sorry for you. I’m so glad you got out.”

“It’s hard to explain what it was like when he would just stop talking. I didn’t know what was wrong, if I’d done something to make him mad or not.

“It was hell on earth! It was like I had invited a stalker into my home and he never left.”

“Was he that way all the time?” I asked.

“No, but I was always aware of what he could be. I was always watching for the signs and trying to avoid his triggers.”

“You’re safe now.”

“I finally had to move. I’m so glad we didn’t have children. It took two years for him to stop harassing me after I filed for divorce. I think he only stopped with me because he found someone else to terrorize full-time.

“I hear he’s engaged to a young girl. Her name’s Maria. A big part of me wants to contact her and warn her, but I don’t want my hell to start over again.”

“You’re safe now,” I repeated.

“I wonder if I attract narcissists,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“The good news is I divorced one. The bad news is my new boss at work has the same tendencies as my ex. I feel it starting all over again.”

“No!”

“Yeah. I still don’t consider myself an expert, because I never figured out what made him do the things he did.”

“You may not be an expert, but I do appreciate the insights you’ve shared. What can you do about your job?”

“I can start looking for work somewhere else even though I shouldn’t be the one to have to leave.”

“Everyone’s got a boss,” I said. “If he does things that are improper, then you can tell the big boss.”

“Well, for right now I’m not going to talk to anyone about this. The big boss is the one who hired him. We’ll see how they get along.

“I want to help others, but I have enough work just helping myself. I really should talk to Maria; I just don’t know if I dare to put myself back into his world.”

“Take care of yourself,” I advised. “If this Maria is in love, then you talking to her won’t change her mind. He’s probably already told her lies about you. Do you think she’d even believe you?

“That’s a good point. She’s not ready to believe me over him. I know I wouldn’t have believed someone I didn’t know if they’d said bad things about someone I was loving. Thanks for your advice.”

“Anytime. Call me anytime.”

“Well, I need to end our conversation. If you want to read the best book I’ve ever read about narcissists, I can recommend one.”

“I do. What’s the title?”

“Narcissists Exposed. Drew Keys is the author. He starts his book by telling the reader that narcissists don’t like others to know the controlling tricks they use to manipulate others. He explains that they don’t like it because it reduces their power.”

“Wow! That sounds good.”

“It is. He’s also got a website with a lot of free downloads.”

“I’ll check it out. Thanks again,” I said.

“It was good talking to you,” she concluded.

Until next time, happy writing and reading!

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  1. Anonymous says

    Good point about showing, not telling. Thanks for sharing this conversation and information, Jim.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      You’re welcome! I enjoy dialogue. Thanks for writing!

      Reply

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Terrific story relevant to today’s social issues . . . well written . . . likable characters . . . insightful perspective from an insider in law enforcement.

Larry Kruckman, anthropologist

Jim Potter displays ethnographic skills in Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, creating vivid scenes and fascinating characters. The Greeks had a word for subcultures and people’s behavior: ‘ethos,’ or ‘ways of being.’ In colorful, sometimes marvelous detail, this novel captures various people and settings . . . the ethos of rural Kansas: a… Read more “Larry Kruckman, anthropologist”

Steve Becker

I’m impressed. It was an excellent read. . . . I hope you continue with more projects in the future.

Morgan Penner

Taking Back the Bullet is a novel that provides the reader with a window into the world of law enforcement. As the novel unfolds, the reader is able to see how split-second decisions alter the lives of the main characters in the story. Taking Back the Bullet also explores how humanity is impacted by mental… Read more “Morgan Penner”

Sean McArdle, Winchester, England

Retired police officer Potter’s novel centers on very disparate characters and through the tried and tested means of gradually introducing each one, builds a sense of anticipation about what is going to happen to them. This often used methodology is not easy to do well but is superbly handled by Potter who knows how to… Read more “Sean McArdle, Winchester, England”

Jane Holzrichter

I finished it last night around midnight. What a great piece of work. It kept me intrigued all the way to the end.

Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist

Jim Potter has done it again! After his book, Cop in the Classroom: Lessons I’ve Learned, Tales I’ve Told, Jim has written another great work. In Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery, Jim Potter takes us on an insightful journey into the lives and relationships of numerous characters. Jim is such a talented storyteller… Read more “Deb Theis, LSCSW, clinical therapist/hypnotherapist”

Diana Dester

Good story line, building the characters along the way. Great job!

Wynona Winn, PhD, retired school superintendent

Three main characters walk different paths but with the same destination – each coping with his or her self-discovery, self-identity, and self-realization. Much like their earlier counterparts – Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield – their journeys are often joyous, often tedious and often tragic.

Judy Hawk

. . . I was impressed with the Native American information as well as the depth of character development . . . .

John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement

I enjoyed your book. When I am looking for a new read, I always read the first page, last page and choose a random page somewhere in the middle before I decide to buy it. You had me on all three pages. I also like reading a book where you can relate to the characters… Read more “John & Cindy Morrill, 20 years Air Force retired, 17 years law enforcement”

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I enjoyed the different stories of this book because Tom, James, and Suanna, the three main characters, represent in their own way the different struggles with themselves and society’s idea of what is normal.

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Masterful storytelling, exquisite character development, so real as to HURT and HOPE, a real page turner. Begs for stage, screenwriters, and visual episodic development a.k.a. TV series . . . Thanks Jim Potter for telling it like it is AND providing us visions of how it could be. Well done!

Rebecca from Proud Police Wife

Taking Back the Bullet is an emotional, yet captivating novel. Jim Potter does a superb job of intertwining each character and putting their individual identities on display. All law enforcement storylines are a true reflection of Potter’s years as a police officer because they are realistic and relatable. This is a book I highly recommend.

Denise Low, author of Jackalope (Red Mountain Press)

Jim Potter is a cop, retired, but he brings deep understanding of this job to his novel Taking Back the Bullet: Trajectories of Self-Discovery. This layered novel has literary dimensions as characters explore crisis situations. Congratulations to this fine writer for his debut novel.

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