• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Sandhenge Publications

Jim Potter, Author

  • About the Author
  • Author Blog
    • Sign Up for Jim’s Posts
  • Blog Podcasts
  • Book Reviews
  • Contact the Author
  • Read the Behind the Books Blog
    • Listen to the Audio Blog
  • Check Book Reviews
  • Sign Up to Receive Blog Posts
  • All Books

Character Development

January 3, 2018 by Jim Potter 2 Comments

Share this blog post

Email
Share
Tweet
Share
Pin
https://jimpotterauthor.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Character-Development.m4a

·  Narcissism  · 

What if you developed a fictional character who was narcissistic? 

If you decide to “give” one of your fictional characters narcissism, you don’t need to identify the condition by name to your readers. Instead, show them.

“Like I told you in the e-mail,” I said. “I’m a writer, and I’m interested in what it’s like to live with a narcissist. Thanks again for talking with me.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “I’m not sure how much I can help, but I’m willing to tell you some of my experiences.”

“What was he like?” I asked.

“He was controlling. He thought he was always right, and he played mind games with me to the point where I didn’t know if I was coming or going.”

“How was he controlling? Because there are lots of people who are great at what they do because they take control.”

“I’m not talking about someone who takes control when it’s required of them to do their job. I’m talking about a person who has a need to control others. My husband was domineering and a pathological manipulator; heck, I’d call him a domestic terrorist. He about drove me crazy.”

“In what way? Can you give me an example?”

“When we met I thought I was in love, but I learned that everything was about him. He didn’t care about me as much as he cared about receiving compliments. After a while I was either ignored or criticized, take your pick.”

“Ignored and criticized?”

“Everything he did centered around him. I was only there to agree or to be blamed. If the dish washer broke down, then I hadn’t used it properly. If he wasn’t feeling well, then it must have been the food I’d prepared.”

“Was he always that way?”

“He was so good at showing his best side when we first met. I actually admired his decisiveness. But his judgmental criticism of others was eventually directed at me. I wasn’t the perfect housewife; I needed to lose weight; if I was smarter, I’d have a better job. His verbal abuse never stopped.

“Finally, I told him that if I was such a loser, why had he married me?”

“Did he answer?”

“Of course. It gave him another opportunity to show his superiority. He said he felt sorry for me! He said he figured he could help me!

“That’s when I knew for sure I was going to leave. I just didn’t know how or when.” 

“Sorry for you. I’m so glad you got out.”

“It’s hard to explain what it was like when he would just stop talking. I didn’t know what was wrong, if I’d done something to make him mad or not.

“It was hell on earth! It was like I had invited a stalker into my home and he never left.”

“Was he that way all the time?” I asked.

“No, but I was always aware of what he could be. I was always watching for the signs and trying to avoid his triggers.”

“You’re safe now.”

“I finally had to move. I’m so glad we didn’t have children. It took two years for him to stop harassing me after I filed for divorce. I think he only stopped with me because he found someone else to terrorize full-time.

“I hear he’s engaged to a young girl. Her name’s Maria. A big part of me wants to contact her and warn her, but I don’t want my hell to start over again.”

“You’re safe now,” I repeated.

“I wonder if I attract narcissists,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“The good news is I divorced one. The bad news is my new boss at work has the same tendencies as my ex. I feel it starting all over again.”

“No!”

“Yeah. I still don’t consider myself an expert, because I never figured out what made him do the things he did.”

“You may not be an expert, but I do appreciate the insights you’ve shared. What can you do about your job?”

“I can start looking for work somewhere else even though I shouldn’t be the one to have to leave.”

“Everyone’s got a boss,” I said. “If he does things that are improper, then you can tell the big boss.”

“Well, for right now I’m not going to talk to anyone about this. The big boss is the one who hired him. We’ll see how they get along.

“I want to help others, but I have enough work just helping myself. I really should talk to Maria; I just don’t know if I dare to put myself back into his world.”

“Take care of yourself,” I advised. “If this Maria is in love, then you talking to her won’t change her mind. He’s probably already told her lies about you. Do you think she’d even believe you?

“That’s a good point. She’s not ready to believe me over him. I know I wouldn’t have believed someone I didn’t know if they’d said bad things about someone I was loving. Thanks for your advice.”

“Anytime. Call me anytime.”

“Well, I need to end our conversation. If you want to read the best book I’ve ever read about narcissists, I can recommend one.”

“I do. What’s the title?”

“Narcissists Exposed. Drew Keys is the author. He starts his book by telling the reader that narcissists don’t like others to know the controlling tricks they use to manipulate others. He explains that they don’t like it because it reduces their power.”

“Wow! That sounds good.”

“It is. He’s also got a website with a lot of free downloads.”

“I’ll check it out. Thanks again,” I said.

“It was good talking to you,” she concluded.

Until next time, happy writing and reading!

Share this blog post

Email
Share
Tweet
Share
Pin

Related

Filed Under: Blog posts Tagged With: Drew Keys, egocentric, he played mind games, he thought he was always right, he was controlling, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic, Narcissists Exposed, self-centered

Sign Up for the Blog

You will never have to check this site for the latest blog post, and you’ll get the latest and the greatest first! You will receive a confirmation email that you must respond to in order to be officially subscribed.

IMPORTANT! Check your Junk and Spam folders as needed!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    January 3, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    Good point about showing, not telling. Thanks for sharing this conversation and information, Jim.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      January 5, 2018 at 11:58 am

      You’re welcome! I enjoy dialogue. Thanks for writing!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Jim Potter, Author

author

Recent Blog Posts

  • Publishing My Children’s Book in Six Months: Draft Status February 2, 2023
  • Publishing My Children’s Book in Six Months: Choosing a Title January 26, 2023
  • Publishing My Children’s Book in Six Months: Multitasking January 19, 2023
  • Publishing My Children’s Book in Six Months: Networking January 12, 2023
  • Publishing My Children’s Book in Six Months: Introduction January 5, 2023

If you prefer to listen . . .

If you prefer to listen to my blog posts, you can do so … List of podcasts about Podcasts

Post Archives

  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017

What People Are Saying

Footer

Follow Jim on Facebook

Follow Jim on Facebook

Interviews with Jim Potter

Video interview with James Lowe outside Bookends Bookstore July 21, 2022

Print interview with author Bill Bush September 1, 2022

Print interview with author Cheryl Unruh February 28, 2019

Hutchinson Magazine Article

Copyright © 2023 Sandhenge Publications · Website by Rosemary Miller